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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 18, 2011 22:47:09 GMT -5
Many A Day, I wish to play.
To pretend that I'm a fierce Dragon, Or perhaps, a smaller red wagon, Being pulled by my friend, Who might happen to pretend to be a hen.
Or maybe to lie on my back, As I stare up at the clouds, Whilst the sun peeks through a little crack, Where there is never to much of a crowd.
Maybe it's my imagination, Or maybe it's just my personal fascination!
But whatever it may be, I know I will be free, Deep inside my mind, Where I am hard to find.
Once, I saw a bird in the sky, And, oh my, it was flying oh so high! Then I imagined flawless, white wings, With golden rings, Right where my arms should be, Just to make me happy.
And then, oh, what a miracle!
Away with the arms, They're now as useless as one thousand farms! Away with the legs, For they hold me down like a tent's peg!
And then, I wake up! Oh, I imagine I played just like a silly little pup!
And now you see why, That Many A Day, I wish to play.
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Post by Hallow on Oct 18, 2011 23:08:49 GMT -5
Pretty good. Just one thing. My friend (who is a writing freak) suggested you don't try and force rhyme *hands laptop over to friend*. By 'forcing rhyme' I mean to try and make rhyme a bit smoother rather than all over the place when selecting what to say next, and if you do that, add more description. *Hallow steals laptop* I think it's good!
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 18, 2011 23:09:54 GMT -5
I know what you mean, Friend O' Hallow. I just have OCD, LOL
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 19, 2011 15:58:14 GMT -5
Hello! Any ideas for another one?
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 19, 2011 18:17:14 GMT -5
Hello?
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Post by shadowdoom on Oct 21, 2011 12:05:36 GMT -5
It's a pretty good poem...how I wish I had motive to do something like this....
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 21, 2011 21:39:16 GMT -5
Thanks! That really means a lot! Any ideas for another one?
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Post by Admin on Oct 22, 2011 9:06:23 GMT -5
Very nice! I've always sucked at poetry lol
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Post by Kestrelfeather on Oct 22, 2011 9:28:33 GMT -5
Love the title. You just need your rhyming to flow. You need a rythim if you want to rhym. You need to follow that rythim until the end of the poem.
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Post by Kestrelfeather on Oct 22, 2011 9:29:15 GMT -5
For example:
Oh, many a day, I like to play, On a nice sunny day, there's more to say...
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 23, 2011 22:02:21 GMT -5
Love the title. You just need your rhyming to flow. You need a rythim if you want to rhym. You need to follow that rythim until the end of the poem. Not according to my advance LA teacher. LOL
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 25, 2011 21:24:35 GMT -5
Well, any ideas?
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Post by Pastel on Oct 25, 2011 21:29:44 GMT -5
Um..... Awesome possum Where are you? Are you some poo or are you a two Awesome possum where are you? Are you a shoe if so than boo
XD
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Post by Flightstar (Firestar) on Oct 26, 2011 19:31:40 GMT -5
Anyone with something serious?
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Post by Pastel on Nov 5, 2011 11:17:59 GMT -5
Something short I thought of.... Bring me sunshine, in your smile Bring me laughter, all the while Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love
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Post by Deathwish on Nov 5, 2011 21:29:43 GMT -5
Here's a poem for Lionblaze, although it didn't turn out as I would like.. it doesn't flow quite right (lol, didn't mean to rhyme there)
When up above the sky is dark, Sleep well tonight, you've left your mark A leader's voice calls from the forest of dead with promises of dreams, corrupting your head
You lie awake, in the dark-lit night, With hopes of power, adventure, and might A whisper sounds from far away, calling you in, and so you stray
A love so strong, it makes you forget, That ghost which follows, with deceit and spite, And encourages you to do what's right You know it's wrong, and yet you stay, Promising to meet another day
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