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Post by Icytail on Oct 27, 2014 7:02:50 GMT -5
Pheonixpaw nodded and looked back to the warriors that were speaking “So we have a deep river to the south that runs east and possible cats to the west. Thank you Thundercloud and Slyfox. You can stay in the camp and rest” “Actually Sharpeye Pheonixpaw and I would like the scent mark the river so other cats don’t fall in by mistake.” Slyfox said anxiously – he was very good at persuading other cats with his body language. Sharpeye nodded in understanding “Alright but rest first. You may go when the sun is above that pine tree but no sooner. I don’t want any warriors or apprentices straining themselves now that we have shelter and food”
Make sure when someone else is talking, new paragraph
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Post by wolflight on Oct 27, 2014 7:54:14 GMT -5
Great thanks for letting me know about that must have missed it when i tried to space it after copying it onto here. Thanks Icytail
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Post by Icytail on Oct 28, 2014 16:33:03 GMT -5
You're welcome!
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Post by blazeclaw on Oct 28, 2014 18:00:25 GMT -5
This is a fanfic I've been working on for a few weeks, writing story-lines and trying .... but failing to draw characters for, i'd love it if people could give me some constructive feedback, this is meant to be a crossover of Warrior cats and a youtuber group called The Creatures, however I've written it in a way that shouldn't hinder those that don't know the group) Nice pick
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Post by wolflight on Oct 29, 2014 7:51:07 GMT -5
Thanks
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Post by wolflight on Nov 8, 2014 12:26:59 GMT -5
I've just started a placement in college so I'll be updating a bit less. I have to priorities my studying but at the weekend I'll be working on this as much as possible because it's so much fun to write.
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Post by wolflight on Nov 15, 2014 11:33:07 GMT -5
Okay Chapter 4 is complete as always if there are any mistakes please don't hesitate to tell me.
Pheonixpaw walked with Slyfox at the head of the clan as they walked to their new home. Pheonixpaw had no doubts that the clan would agree with it. It had everything they needed, shelter, space, protection for the kits and elders. Pheonixpaw shook his head “there are no elders or kits left, yes there will be elders but without any she-cats…..” Pheonixpaw lifted his head as the ground began to slope upwards and soon the cliff was in plain view. Many of the cats around them stayed silent and examined the cliff face carefully. Shredpaw started listing everything about the cliff as he does with most things and Steadypaw just looked at it in awe. Pheonixpaw became nervous as no one said anything or moved towards the cliff.
“How do you expect us to get to the higher cliffs” Horsemane asked “There are no walkways up to any of the caves” Slyfox turned and pointed with his tail “You just have to jump from there, to there then to that one” Horsemane sniffed unhappily “And what if we can’t jump from there” Slyfox fur began to bristle but he let it lie flat “I didn’t say that was our den did I?” Longhorn seemed even less convinced “So where is our den. Slyfox pointed to the one Pheonixpaw had suggested “That’s even higher than that one! How is that any better?” Pheonixpaw’s ears went back as the two senior warriors ganged up on Slyfox and bashed everything he said. “Hey it was my idea. I thought if the warriors were above where the elders were that if there was an attack the warriors could easily defend the elders from any attackers” he said and darted in front of his mentor.
The two unhappy cats looked down at him “There are no elders so your idea is pointless” Longhorn snapped at him. Pheonixpaw backed up as the two cats advanced on them. “Enough! Longhorn and Horsemane control yourselves!” Brownstar said as he pushed himself between them. Horsemane backed off immediately and Longhorn took a few steps back but neither looked any less angry “These two gave us the hardest den to reach. What if we spent all morning hunting and patrolling and we have to jump all the way up there just to sleep?” Horsemane said bluntly. Brownstar looked at him “I suppose you want your nest fluffed for your arrival as well?” Horsemane flinched back and shook his head “No one ever said this would be an easy change but whining and complaining just because something’s not the same as before will get us nowhere. Especially if it makes clanmates behave like spoiled kits”
Brownstar turned and examined the cliff “From the descriptions of each cave I think Pheonixpaw and Slyfox made good choices for each of the caves and before you two say anything about difficulty I’d like to point out that this young apprentice made it easily to that cliff, so if you feel you can’t make it perhaps it’s time for you to…” “We can make it” Longhorn said gruffly. “Good, now let’s go and see our new dens shall we?” everyone poured into the clearing. Pheonixpaw sat down on the ground. His pelt felt like it was on fire with anger from the two senior warrior’s ungratefulness. Slyfox looked down at him “Are you okay? Shall I fetch Rainpaw?” Pheonixpaw shook his head and slowly walked away from the hill to try and cool down.
Pheonixpaw growled as he raced around the trees as his pelt burned with anger. Every thought in his head just made him angrier and he began to hiss constantly as his paws glowed with power and the ground began to smoke where he stepped. “Do they expect MoonClan to deliver a perfect nest, those ungrateful senior warriors don’t understand how hard it is to find somewhere that good” Pheonixpaw stamped his paw down and flames ignited under and around it.
Pheonixpaw jumped back and panic flared in his heart. “No, No NOOO!” he said and began frantically stamping it with his paw. The fire grew steadily with each stamp and soon it was too big to do anything about. “Oh MoonClan no, please don’t let this happen again” he begged silently as the flames moved slowly towards him. Pheonixpaw began running desperately as the fire grew larger and larger behind him. Thunder clapped above his head and rain suddenly poured from the heavens and soon the fire was completely extinguished. The rain slowly stopped till it was no more than stray drops falling from treetops. Pheonixpaw looked behind him to see a soaking wet Rainpaw standing there looking at him. “Well…. I guess that’s one way to get your anger out” Rainpaw said as he shook his fur.
Pheonixpaw lowered his head “I’m sorry Rainpaw. I know I should be controlling my anger but Horsemane and Longhorn really got to me.” Rainpaw walked slowly towards his denmate “Pheonixpaw. I know they were ungrateful and I understand your frustration but if you can’t control your anger then it could turn into our old home all over again and I know you still blame yourself for what happened but we know the twolegs were to blame for spraying that skunkstink all over the forest.” Pheonixpaw’s mind wandered back to that horrible night in their old home.
It was dark and many cats were running as two legged fiends raced after them with odd devices that sprayed the foulest skunkstink any cat had ever smelt before and what was worse it had killed many cats already. Every medicine cat had tried frantically to heal those poisoned by it but all of them failed and were soon engulfed.
CreatureClan was running along a stream and Ryestar ordered them to turn in towards the forest. All the cats obeyed without question. Pheonixpaw was breathless and terrified as he heard footsteps right behind him and the fierce hiss of the strange metal snake it held. A paw came down on Pheonixpaw’s back and flattened him to the ground. Pheonixpaw let out a shriek as the snake was pointed at it. Smoke started billowing from under his paws and the twoleg jumped back as a spark ignited the snakes head and it burst into flames. The twoleg threw down the metal snake and ran shrieking for his allies. Pheonixpaw stood and looked at the slowly growing flames. A yowl made him turn to see Ryestar jump to him and grab him by the scruff, pulling him away from the flames. All the cats ran as their leader appeared with Pheonixpaw. A loud boom made them jump and run faster as a huge plume of flames erupted behind them and started to spread further through the forest.
Pheonixpaw sat down as he remembered how many cats were lost to that fire. Rainpaw came over and sat beside him, brushing his tail gently along his shoulders. “Let’s go back to camp. I won’t tell Brownstar what happened. If you want him to know it’s your own choice.” Pheonixpaw nodded and lent against his denmate for a moment before standing and stretching. Pheonixpaw followed Rainpaw back to the hill and was shocked to see all the other cat’s running around making things very homely. Horsemane was jumping up to the warriors den, a little stiffly, but making it without incident. Longhorn had started a fresh kill pile under the jutting stone where meetings would be called. The ground was high and the rock would keep rain and snow off the fresh kill. Shredpaw was practicing his battle training with Thundercloud in the middle with Slyfox and Sharpeye watching.
Shredpaw pounced on top of Thundercloud and rolled him over quickly before bouncing away as his mentor stood up and shook himself off. Dust hung in the air and Shredpaw dived back to where his mentor had been only to skip through the dust and get rolled over and Thundercloud bumped his side with his large head. Shredpaw rolled before smoothly skidding back to his feet and facing his mentor. “Heh, you’re a little out of practice Shredpaw. We’ll have to do something about that” Shredpaw pounced forwards only to land and skip dust over his mentor before darting in. Yowls could be heard for a few seconds before the dust cleared to show Shredpaw barely holding Thundercloud down.
Sharpeye laughed “Seems to me you both need to practice a bit more combat. Steadypaw?” Steadypaw poked his head out from the apprentices cave. “Come down here and lets show these two how to spar properly” Steadypaw smiled and jumped smoothly down to the ground. Shredpaw and Thundercloud moved to the side as the mentor and apprentice faced off. Steadypaw’s eyes were completely focused on his mentor as he slowly circled him. Sharpeye watched him before spinning and bolting at him with surprising speed. Steadypaw jumped straight up and back flipped onto his mentors back and pummelled his back with his back legs making his mentor’s back legs give out long enough for him to jump to the side and knock him onto his back.. Sharpeye yowled as Steadypaw jumped on him and rolled over so the younger cat was pinned down by his weight. Steadypaw went limp under his mentor and as Sharpeye got off him he used his back legs to push him over.
Pheonixpaw watched in awe as the two sparred back and forth for a good while before Brownstar appeared from his den. “What’s going on?” he called down to the two. Sharpeye looked up from pinning Steadypaw with one of his paws and replied “Sparring Brownstar. Steadypaw and I are keeping ourselves sharp for any possible hostilities” Brownstar’s ear twitched with amusement. “I see. Well allow me to assist you in teaching your apprentice Sharpeye” Brownstar jumped from the ledge of his den and landed easily on the ground near the two. Steadypaw shook himself and moved towards his leader with cautious curiosity. Pheonixpaw watched as Steadypaw stood ready a few rabbit hops away from his leader.
Steadypaw shifted his paws before stalking forward towards Brownstar. Brownstar narrowed his eyes and suddenly shot at Steadypaw with great speed, knocking him off his paws easily. Steadypaw was quick to turn in mid-air and land on Brownstar back only to get knocked off and Brownstar rolled and skidded to face him again. Steadypaw rushed him quickly and stood on his hind legs to use his front paws and bat Brownstar’s muzzle with his claws sheathed but he didn’t hold back the force he used as Brownstar stumbled back. Brownstar shook his head and pounced on the apprentice, rolling him over and pinning him down as he panted for breath. Steadypaw slowly drew his hind legs back as Brownstar tried to stop his front paws from batting him again. One strong kick of his back legs had Brownstar hurtling backwards and landing on his side.
Winded, Brownstar stood and shook himself with a laugh “Well Sharpeye. There’s no doubt your apprentice has the heart of a warrior. To knock a cat twice his size off him takes quite a lot of strength. I believe it’s time we had our first ceremony in our new home.” Steadypaw’s eyes lit up with excitement as Brownstar scaled the stone jut and began to call out.
“All cat’s old enough to catch their own prey, gather here under the…. StoneRidge for a clan meeting” All the warriors and apprentices sprinted with excitement as Brownstar waited patiently. Pheonixpaw rushed over to Steadypaw’s side and nudged him “Congratulations Steadypaw” he whispered with a purr. Shredpaw sat beside him as well and whispered “You better not boss us about just because you’ll be a warrior now.” Steadypaw purred with amusement “Yeah I know better Shredpaw. I’m glad I’m becoming a warrior but I’ll miss sharing a den with you guys.” Shredpaw perked up “You can spend your first night with us before moving to the warriors den” Steadypaw looked at him with a sad smile “I’ll be sitting vigil tonight Shredpaw remember” Shredpaw’s ears fell “Well in the morning then. I’ll catch you a nice juicy mouse.” “Steadypaw, please step forward” Steadypaw stood and walked through the small gathering of cats and stood in front of the StoneRidge.
“I, Brownstar, leader of CreatureClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn.” Brownstar jumped down from the StoneRidge and landed in front of Steadypaw.
“Steadypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?”
Steadypaw bowed his head as he spoke the words every apprentice yearns to say.
“I do”
“Then by the powers of MoonClan, I give you your warrior name. Steadypaw, from this moment you will be known as Steadygaze. MoonClan honors your cunning and focus, and we welcome you as a full warrior of CreatureClan.”
Brownstar rested his muzzle on Steadygaze’s head and Steadygaze licked his shoulder. Steadygaze’s eyes were alight with emotions as his clan greeted him by his new name. Sharpeye yowled the loudest as if he wanted the whole forest to know of his apprentice’s success.
“As tradition states, Steadygaze will watch the camp come sundown and keep his silent vigil till the first rays of sunlight while we sleep in our new dens.” The clan yowled happily and all the cats circled Steadygaze.
Pheonixpaw and Shredpaw were the first to wake up the next morning after sleeping in their new den. Pheonixpaw stretched and walked over to the entrance of his new den and glanced down into the clearing. Steadygaze sat with his creamy golden coat was fluffed up making him look as big as some of the other warriors. Pheonixpaw glanced over his shoulder as Shredpaw walked over stiffly. “Are you okay?” he asked. Shredpaw nodded briskly and jumped to the nearest ledge. Pheonixpaw noticed his muscles were tensed as he lifted off and as he landed. He made a mental note to have Rainpaw check him discreetly next time he was there.
Pheonixpaw followed Shredpaw’s lead and jumped from ledge to ledge till he reached the ground and trotted over to Steadygaze, whose eyes never left the hilltop. A loud drawn out yawn caught Pheonixpaw’s ears and he looked around to see Sharpeye walking over “Okay Steadygaze you can speak now. Your vigil is over.” Steadygaze met his old mentor’s eye and the emotion passing between them was one of pride.
“I need you to take these two apprentices on a hunting patrol today. As your first duty of a warrior” Steadygaze’s eyes lit up with happiness “When?” Shredpaw asked quickly “He’s been up all night. Surely he can rest first?” Sharpeye purred with amusement “Of course Shredpaw, He’ll be leading the evening patrol and till then he’s to go get a proper rest” Shredpaw nodded seriously “Come on Steadygaze I’ll help you make your nest in our den” Sharpeye seemed puzzled “You mean the warriors den” Shredpaw turned “No I mean OUR den. Steadygaze promised to sleep in the apprentices den at least once before he became a warrior.” Sharpeye looked at Shredpaw for a moment before blinking “Alright young one go ahead” Steadygaze followed Shredpaw to the apprentices den.
Sharpeye looked at Pheonixpaw “Is something bothering Shredpaw?” he asked. Pheonixpaw looked at him for a moment “I’m not sure but he seemed tense this morning. I think this means a lot to him. Having Steadygaze sleep in the apprentices new den I mean” Sharpeye nodded and looked towards the two cats as they jumped from ledge to ledge till they got to the apprentices den.
Pheonixpaw felt a weight lift from his shoulders as all the cats seemed to be finally getting used to their new home. Pheonixpaw glanced at Sharpeye “Am I needed for anything Sharpeye?” he asked quickly as the deputy seemed about to leave. Sharpeye glanced at him “Dawn patrol could use you. Its Horsemane and Thundercloud, scouting for possible rogues or loners in the area” Pheonixpaw’s ears pricked “Sure! I’ll go tell them” Pheonixpaw sprinted towards the warriors cave and after jumping the ledges he stopped at the entrance and peeked in. Horsemane was up and grooming his long neck hair while Thundercloud was still dozing soundly.
“Ah, are we having more apprentices becoming warriors or do you have a message for us?” Horsemane asked as he stopped grooming his mane. Pheonixpaw flicked his tail “As much as I’d love to say it was the first I’m just letting you know that you me and Thundercloud are scouting for rogues or loners for the dawn patrol.” Horsemane stood and stretched his long legs and walked over longhorn to get to Thundercloud.
Horsemane used his tail to tickle Thunderclouds nose till he snorted and opened his eyes “Wassat? What do you want Horsemane?” Thundercloud muttered before yawning loudly showing long fangs worn from moons of hunting and fighting for survival. “Dawn patrol. You me and Pheonixpaw. Checking for rogues and loners. Up now” Horsemane said simply as Thundercloud sat up and groomed his ruffled pelt. “Okay, okay so where are we starting then?” he asked as he flicked bits off moss off his pelt with his tongue.
Horsemane looked at Pheonixpaw, expecting that Sharpeye would have said where to go. Pheonixpaw stiffened and realised he hadn’t asked Sharpeye where they would be going. “Um... Along the river there’s a track with rabbits dens it’s a good source of prey so any cat around may be near or at least hunting there.” Horsemane nodded in approval and began walking to the cave entrance. “Who’s leading the patrol?” Thundercloud asked as he stood up. “Horsemane” Pheonixpaw said quickly even though Sharpeye hadn't said who was leading. Horsemane nodded again and started to jump down the ledges.
Pheonixpaw watched him go and realized the senior warrior was having trouble jumping up and down. Thundercloud trotted over and nudged him “Staring at him won’t get your legs moving as fast as his. Come on now we have a lot of ground to cover” Pheonixpaw nodded and hopped down to the ground.
It took them till the sun was almost halfway up into the sky to reach the rabbit trail. Horsemane had been marking a decent area for territory along the river and wanted to mark this as well. Pheonixpaw walked beside Thundercloud as they walked along the track and stopped as rustling from the bushes caught his ear.
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Post by wolflight on Feb 13, 2015 15:40:44 GMT -5
So sorry i was gone for soo long the course took up almost all of my time and i couldn't even finish it due to health issues. i can now continue the fanfic tho i should have the next chapter finished by next week.
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